So Cal Story - One of Those Days (02/14/03)

(Originally written 02/14/03)

I woke-up pissed off yesterday. It was one of those things where you open your eyes and automatically know it's going to be a shit day. The night before I had gone to bed mad at the boyfriend - and the fact that he was cuddling up to me was just pissing me off more. Now those of you that know me well can only imagine this scene. I am usually fairly mellow, but piss me off and I become a bitch. Make that a FLAMING BITCH.

So the alarm goes off. Classical music fills the air. It's his choice, and honestly, it's not that bad to wake-up to. But today it just reminds me of that stupid beef commercial and annoys me instantly. I lay there thinking about the night before. He rolls over and puts his arm around me. I stiffen up and scoot further away. He tries to be nice and charming, I am non-responsive. He gets closer and kisses the back of my neck. I throw the covers off and mumble something about needing to get up. I stomp down the hall to the bathroom that isn't in our bedroom. While I am sitting on the bathroom counter pretending to be going to the bathroom he finally gives up, gets out of bed and gets into the shower. As soon as I hear the shower turn on in the other bathroom I flush the toilet, twice, hoping that it will take all of the cold water away momentarily. How fucked-up is that?

By the time I left for work we had worked everything out and I was in love again. But by being such a prick I had set the tone for the day. On my way to work it was raining, make that pouring, and all of the surface streets were flooded. I guess I got water in my distributor cap and so my truck starts vibrating and wont go faster than 30 miles an hour. Needless to say,I am late to work. As I am getting out in the parking lot I notice that the passenger side of my truck is flooded - apparently there is a leak somewhere and when it rains it comes inside. I go out at lunch, my truck still vibrating, I can't find parking. I finally land, go into McDonalds, and on my way out am approached by a homeless man wearing a blanket and carrying a KFC platter with chicken bones and mashed potatoes on it. Of course, he's got the mashed potatoes smeared all over his face. He asks me for .75 cents. When I say "no" he gets right in my face. It takes a second for it to register that this person is in my space, and when it does I am immediately scared and pissed. In SF the homeless people were annoying, but harmless, but this guy just looks crazy, and I am sure the mashed potatoes aren't helping my opinion of him. So I gather myself and say "get the fuck away from me" which, when dealing with crazy people probably isn't the best thing to do. He starts flipping out, I yell at him "get the FUCK out of my way!" and much to my surprise that just agitates him more. So there I am at Sunset and Vine at lunchtime with homeless KFC carrying, mash potato smeared face psycho man screaming at me. Oh, and it's raining and I don't have an umbrella.

I got into my truck and called Miss Creamcheese. I'm thinkin, if anyone can help me make sense of what just happened it's gonna be her. Well, fuck me if she aint gone out and got herself a real job. You know the kind - "I can't talk right now even though I am at lunch because I AM WORKING". Good for her, sucks for me. So I decided to call the complete opposite of Miss Cream Cheese and called my old co-worker Mary - as in Mary Sunshine. Mary(not her real name - you know the drill) is a girl that, no matter how dismal the situation, is going to see everything through rose colored glasses and will find the bright side. She believes in L-O-V-E love more than that dude from Moulin Rouge and is married to Mr. Perfect Wonderful. If I didn't like Mary she'd be one of those bitches that I would hate and love to make fun of. Anyhow, it was a good call because she made me smile and reminded me that life is good (thank you Mary - you know I love you!).

So I go back to work and the rest of the day is uneventful. Sometimes, while on the phone I go to Yahoo and see what the headlines are. It starts again. See, I love my reality TV. Survivor, The Bachlor-ette, CelebrityMole, Real World/Road Rules Challenge - you name it, I probably watch. So I am following American Idol this season and wouldn't ya know it - the ONE chick on that show that I love is getting the boot. Apparently she was involved with some porn thing. Damn it all to Hell anyway. Now, not only did I yell at my boyfriend on the eve of his father having quintuplet bypass surgery and a crazy homeless man in the rain with no umbrella, but Frenchie was getting kicked off of my favorite show for being a skanky ho. I got off the phone, turned off the computer, and vibrated myself home. A box of cookies later, I was feelin no pain.

I have clue-none why I am sharing this with ya'll. I guess it's my way ofresponding to all you bitches that wrote me back after my last email saying how my gushing about being in love was causing you to puke. See, my life aint all sunshine and roses and shit. But, for the record, I really didn't care if my happiness caused you to puke - all I can say is that if it truly did at least this time it wasn't drug induced. :-)